That crazy bastard Kim Jong Il

Monday 0954 local time (0054GMT) The US Geological Survey (USGS) had detected a magnitude 4.7 tremor in North Korea, indicating that a nuclear test may have taken place. The area is not seismically active.

"We have successfully conducted another nuclear test on May 25 as part of the republic's measures to strengthen its nuclear deterrent, the test would contribute to defending the sovereignty of the country and the nation and socialism and ensuring peace and security on the Korean Peninsula." the official KCNA news agency said.

Russia later said it believed the explosion from the test had a yield of 10-20 kilotonnes - about the same as the US bombs used against the Japanese cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima at the end of World War Two.

Cut off from the outside world behind barricades of barbed wire, landmines and concrete tank-traps, the so-called "hermit kingdom" has come to rely for its very existence on maintaining a constant war footing. For more than 50 years, North Korea has been ready to go to war at a moment's notice. The country is under constant threat of invasion and outsiders are to be feared. Almost a third of North Korea's GDP is spent on the military. Meanwhile, aid agencies say, around a third of the country's population relies on food handouts to keep them from starvation. Through relentless propaganda and by enforcing a rigid isolation from the outside world, it is that tool that keeps them in power and their people on the brink of war. North Korea can't actually do anything at this point. It hasn't actually weaponised its nuclear material. Certainly it hasn't miniaturised it to the point where you can put a bomb on an airplane or – even more technically demanding – on top of a missile. Monday's test was designed to draw international attention and fortify "North Korea's claim to be the ninth nuclear power".

Decadency of a desperate dictator

Kim Jong Il is a movie fanatic, and is said to have a collection of over 20,000 films. In 1978, in order to advance the North Korean film industry, he ordered North Korean agents to abduct the famous South Korean movie director Shin Sang Ok and his ex-wife, actress Che Eun Hui, and kept them for eight years while making them produce propaganda films. During that time, the two became very well acquainted with Kim Jong Il, and after escaping in 1986, they wrote a book exposing his decadent lifestyle. He likes cognac, James Bond movies and foreign prostitutes. While ordinary North Koreans scraped the bark off trees to ease their pre-death suffering, the inner circle feasted on delicacies and consumed large amounts of expensive cognac, boons granted them directly and personally by Kim, sometimes at bacchanals featuring comely young women called to serve in multiple ways, and lasting for days. Kim considers himself the world's greatest golfer and an internet expert (so maybe he reads my blog). Why is he doing this (provocatively launching missiles and detonating nuclear devices)? Crazy motherfucker is desperate. Perhaps he is demonstrating to terrorist state customers that he has salable goods or perhaps he is seeking unilateral talks with the United States? Or perhaps he is just aid-seeking or even anticipating another deal like he got with Bill Clinton, in which the United States will supply billions of dollars in aid in return for promises he doesn't intend to honor. Domestic factors may have driven North Korea's reclusive leader to conduct a nuclear test. Some analysts see it as an attempt to spur nationalism among the masses, while others say it could be a sign of Kim Jong-il's internal weakness. Kim may well be running out of money to pay for booze, energy, and other necessities. If he can't provide the goodies to his inner circle, his hold on power is in direct jeopardy. Consider the basic nature of the North Korean state: it is a criminal enterprise. It is no secret that illegal drugs, counterfeiting, and illicit trade in weapons provided most of the foreign currency available to the regime. The fruits of these crimes were distributed quite carefully by Kim to those whose support he needed in order to hold onto power, mostly military figures. Just like Al Capone and the fiuctional Tony Soprano. Kim Jong-Il is just tired of being alone. His American buddies weren't calling anymore when Bush administration took control of the White House. He is like a spoiled brat looking for attention, the only problem is that this brat is playing with nukes...

kim eats live fish